THE JOY OF BONDAGE

Since my books delve into various aspects of BDSM, I feel a sense of responsibility to those who read them. I call them Orsini Cross Legs and Squeeze Reads because that is exactly what I hope every reader does while lost in the worlds I create, but I have no idea what happens after they read that last page. Will a woman find a place on her bookshelf for UNDENIABLE then search for another erotic vampire romance or will she turn on her laptop and lurk on forums for those who sink fake fangs into their lovers’ necks? The effect of my books came to light when a fan emailed that while reading NO ONE BUT MADISON, she discovered her submissive side. She read the book to her husband, a chapter a night, and by the time they were done…well, let’s just say they are now part of the BDSM scene.

Bondage played a large role in TANNER’S ANGEL. Damn, I crossed my legs and squeezed while writing it. Yes, I do hope that countless bedposts in my readers’ homes now bear a subtle wear in the wood from rope scraping away the once pristine finish. But did I clearly explain the joys of bondage? The risks? Have I unwittingly left out vital precautions? The book is done, published, out of my hands. And so, here, I will try to help those readers who have decided to give in to a desire I believe we all harbor

The joy of bondage is simple. With no control, no way to lead your lover, you are completely at his mercy. Where will that first touch land? What will he do? Will he stand and gaze down at you for countless minutes? Drag those calloused hands up your thighs? Draw a nipple into his hot mouth?  Every single nerve ending anticipates his next move. Unable to move, you are a slave to his desires and your body’s reactions. With no need to reciprocate, no need to wonder what you should do to him while he pleasures you, your mind and senses can focus fully on your own pleasure. Each kiss, each touch experienced in a way you never imagined possible. And when that orgasm begins to build, moving higher, feeling stronger than ever before, the urge to shift away or charge forward will have no power because…he holds the reigns. You have no control. You can moan, tugs on those ropes, beg, but in your mind, you know only your lover has the power to toss you over that ledge or not.  Men are greedy beasts so, after that first orgasm, you may realize that, for him, foreplay has just begun. As I already mentioned, you and every erogenous zone you possess is at his mercy.

Now, I must drag you away from any fantasies clouding your vision. Delving into bondage uneducated can lead to embarrassing or dangerous situations.  Never leave your bound partner alone. Never. Also, if your lover plans on tying you up, insist that he have a pair of blunt tipped scissors handy. In fact, go to the nearest drug store and buy bandage scissors. Steer clear of pantyhose and silk scarves or ties. They are more prone to cinching tighter as you tug. I recommend leather locking cuffs. Wipe any thoughts of your lover feeding you a strawberry or any other food while you’re bound. Imagine choking and waiting for your panicked lover to untie you. Tie nothing around your neck. If you want a blindfold to further restrict your senses, ensure whatever you use does not cover your nose. Pay attention to any signs of discomfort. Tingling in your hands and feet means loss of circulation. If your arms are stretched too high above your head or your legs are too wide apart, say something. That little ache will grow worse with time. Nothing should interfere with your pleasure.. As with all forms of BDSM, pick a safe word. I know. You feel no need for one while dipping into bondage with someone you trust. Have you ever said ‘no’ or ‘stop’ while in the midst of passion when you really mean ‘yes’ or ‘more’? Pick a safe word.

Most important of all, before delving into this wondrous world, read all you can about bondage safety and guidelines. Scan the internet. Visit forums. Drop into a store that caters to the BDSM community or check out a local fetish fair. Lifestylers love giving advice to newbies. This blog only touches the surface and in no way holds all you need for a safe and enjoyable experience.

Uniting Man and Toy

   There are those who believe they must pack up their treasured toys when they finally find “The One” or even “The One for Now.” They polish and kiss their shiny bullet adieu, tenderly wrap their Jack Rabbit in tissue paper so its ears won't bend, and wipe away a tear as they carry the box of vibrating, titillating toys to the attic or trash. Happy that those lonely nights and mornings are over, they nonetheless admit that no man can gyrate, buzz, or expand and contract like their favorite toy. No man can stimulate those vaginal nerves while his woman stands on line at the grocery store. For a kiss each morning and night or a love no toy can ever replace, most women will take out those batteries and store them for use in a more practical device.
    And then there are those of us who refuse to give up the electric boyfriends who made them scream in shock when one orgasm converged into another, and another, and another. They stick out their chins and demand that men agree to share with those buzzing guys who resided there before them.
    Most men can barely keep their zippers from busting open when confronted with the prospect of bringing their partner to orgasm by toy alone or buzzing that hotspot during sex and sharing the limelight. There is no man vs. toy. There is no fear of coming up short when confronted with today's battery powered wonders.
    Of course, size is a consideration when offering up this treat to a new lover. A woman does not want to hold out in her palm a dildo that dwarfs the less-then-average penis. Or -- do I even have to mention this -- demand a man who spent most of his life listening to pencil jokes pleasure her with an ultra-fat vibrator. As for stamina...never imply you need a toy because your man can't keep his horse from charging out of the gates before the race even started.
    There are ways to entice those few men who swat away all attempts to bring the toy box out of the attic. Talk is cheap. Tell your man about your toys of old. Set the mood while you describe how you would buck and moan and scream. Explain in painful -- well, painful for him -- detail how you would slide the shiny bullet in as deep as it would go, how you'd torture yourself by adjusting your Jack Rabbit's controls, and how you'd love to watch his face as he controlled your favorite toy.
    Didn't work? Take another route. Make up a friend whose husband is a veritable toy slut. Wistfully recount wicked tall tales of nights this imaginary man spent pleasing your imaginary friend with toys you just happen to own. Describe in detail. I can not emphasize this enough. Explain how much the man enjoyed it, how having control turned him into an animal, a young stud, a raging bull. Then giggle and add how many toys this imaginary he-man broke when he lost control, threw them aside, and took solitary residence in the saddle.
    No luck? Time to turn your toys on your man. Start off slow. He is a virgin after all. Hide that buzzing bullet until he's entered that euphoric high while you're pleasuring him then slip it under your hand or alongside your lips. Remember, you are dealing with a virgin. Set those controls to the lowest vibrations. Maybe he won't notice until it's too late. Sorry, but drastic times call for drastic actions. This leads me to my next option if even this fails to entice your man into sharing you with your old pals.
    I like to call this the planned “Oh-No-You-Caught-Me.” A week before a regular night or day your man usually has to work or hang with the guys, ask him on numerous occasions if he's sure he won't be home that day. Ask again as he leaves exactly what time he'll be home. Maybe even request he call before he starts the drive home. If he asks why, merely shrug and say you were just curious. Get those jealous juices running. Chances are he'll sneak back home early. You must be ready. That favorite slinky teddy he drools over would help. I advise you use a Butterfly or other clitoral vibrator for this, preferably one with a remote he can control. This is the best toy to snag a man's interest in toy play. He still has a nice view of the finish line and he can take control.
    Notice how often I used the word control in this article? There is a reason for that. Men love holding the reins. This is one of the major obstacles facing women who want to share their toys with their men. The man fears that he will only be a spectator as some gadget controls his woman. Ok, some men like sitting back and watching. Some, only occasionally. But there are those who have to be in control and they are the ones most likely to turn you and your toys down. So, give them the remote and let them decide how strong those vibrations are and how many times you'll come. Life could be worse. You could come home one day and find your man and toys have moved on without you.

FIFTY SHADES OF BDSM

FIFTY SHADES OF BDSM

 

When I first wrote No One But Madison, I spent quite a bit of time researching BDSM. As usual, I turned to the Internet and printed countless articles, slang dictionaries, etc. I read book after book. I downloaded samples of contracts those in the lifestyle created and signed before entering into a relationship. But the writings of those in the lifestyle and those examining it failed to give me the one thing essential in understanding the people who live it. And so, I joined forums, live groups, and visited the clubs. Yes, the hubby loved my research.

What I discovered when I left the Internet helped me form my characters and story.

1. Relationships were built BEFORE a man ever shoved a contract under a potential submissive's nose. A relationship built on trust, love or the beginnings of love, and similar likes and dislikes in regard to BDSM.
2. I don't recall ever seeing someone as young as twenty-two in a club and if one should walk in, it is to get a taste of the scene.
3. Meetings include workshops on various techniques used to instill pain safely, weapons of pleasure, and control.
4. Abuse is taken very seriously, more so than outside the life. I constantly saw brochures on abuse, how to know if you are in an abusive relationship, and what to do, where to go, and how to end one if you believe your's is one.
5. Sure, those in the life fall for someone new to it and lead them into it, but they don't make that person decide on a first date.
6. There are couples who have relationships where one member completely controls every aspect of a person's life. The submissive in that relationship is called a slave. Not sure a never-been-kissed virgin on a first date would miss the slave aspect.
7. Not everyone into BDSM has emotional issues or pasts filled with abuse. Some just discover that the sting of a flogger heightens their senses or their day-to-day lives are so full of responsibilities and power that they want to give that up when they get home and interact with their partner...and vice-a-versa.
8. Giving up control in a sexual relationships frees the mind of morals and fears.
9. The submissive has the final say. Ergo the safeword. Here is where many grow confused about who is truly in control.
10. Domninants get pleasure from their position because, yes, they like being the one in control, but they are fully aware that the submissive has offered this gift, can take it back if they abuse it, and is trusting them to never cross a line the submissive has drawn.
11. Submissives get pleasure from their position because, yes, they like feeling helpless and out of control, but they are fully aware that the dominant will give them the pleasure/pain they enjoy and will never cross the line they have drawn.
12. After one night at Paddles in NYC, I learned that lifestylers have full, unforgettable personalities. I found every one of the people I spoke with interesting and unique whether they held a dominant or submissive position.
13. People in the lifestyle are naturally drawn to seek out those in the lifestyle.
14. A masochist is someone who gets pleasure from pain. (Note the word pleasure.)
15. A sadist is someone who enjoys giving pleasure through pain. (Note the word pleasure.) 
16. S/M means sadomasochism, giving and receiving pain for pleasure. If there is no pleasure on both sides, then it is not S/M, it is abuse.
17. S/M is always consensual, if not, it is abuse.
18. S/M is fun and sexually gratifying, if not, it is abuse.
19. S/M is loving.
20. S/M must be enjoyed by both partners.
21. S/M is dependent upon respect for each partners limits, both the dominant's and the submissive's.
22. S/M revolves around trust.
23. B&D means bondage and discipline.
24. B&D is always consensual, if not, it is abuse.
25. B&D is fun and sexually gratifying, if not, it is abuse.
26. B&D is loving.
27. B&D must be enjoyed by both partners.
28. B&D is dependent upon respect for each partners limits, both the dominant's and the submissive's.
29. D&S means dominance and submission.
30. D&S is always consensual, if not, it is abuse.
31. D&S is fun and sexually gratifying, if not, it is abuse.
32. D&S is loving.
33. D&S must be enjoyed by both partners.
34. D&S is dependent upon respect for each partners limits, both the dominant's and the submissive's.
35. Some are into D&S but not S/M or B&D.
36. Some are into B&D but not S/M or D&S.
37. Some are into S/M but not D&S or B&D.
38. BDSM covers it all. S/M, B&D, D&S, fetishes, etc.
39. Top means the dominant or person with the power.
40. Bottom means the submissive or person giving up power.
41. Switch means someone who can be either submissive or dominant.
42. Scene is the time in which two or more people are involved in a S/M physical activity.
43. Edgeplay means bringing a scene or relationship into the risky realms of BDSM. This is dangerous and should only be considered when both are experienced in BDSM.
44. Aftercare is a time after a scene. It not only involves cleaning and soothing. It is a time of tenderness and loving. This is when a dominant will sometimes simply hold a submissive until he/she is again grounded, speaking words of love or ensuring that every aspect of the scene was agreeable to each.
45. Safeword is a word a participant uses to end a scene that has crossed the line between pleasure/pain and pure pain.
46. A safeword should not be "no", "no more", "stop". It should be a word that would not otherwise come up during a scene. Let's face it, sometimes when we are already in the throes of pleasure, no means yes in this lifestyle.
47. If a person is ever ridiculed, humiliated, or bullied when using the safeword, that person is not in a safe relationship no matter how quickly that word passes his/her lips.
48. SSF means Safe, Sane, and Consensual. This is the foundation of a BDSM relationship. Without this foundation, it is abuse.
49. Safe: Both participants are knowledgeable about techniques, tools of pleasure/pain, safety, and the risks involved.
50. Sane: Neither participant suffers from mental illness or mental health issues. Both participants are fully aware of that line dividing fantasy from reality.
51. Consensual: Limits are understood and agreed upon before moving into a relationship OR scene. Both participants have fully agreed to participate. Sometimes this involves a contract but in the beginning, when a couple enters into a first scene together, it is verbally discussed.
52. And, although some fictional accounts include alcohol prior to a scene, this is taboo in the lifestyle. Both participant, dominant and submissive, should have nothing fogging their judgement, something crucial to ensure that line between pleasurable pain and pure pain is never crossed. Also, drinking prior to a scene can be harmful to the submissive's health and life. Remember, the submissive holds the safeword. Note "safe". Clubs serve juice.
53. Ok, so more than fifty. But I could go on and on.

Dawn - Adieu

Dawn Thompson, author of paranormal romances such as Blood Moon and Lord of the Deep, passed away yesterday. A woman who always greeted you with a smile, she will be sorely missed. I can only imagine the tales she had yet to tell. For me, Dawn played a major role in my tales making their way to publication. As a new, unpublished author, I once asked Dawn for some advice. I couldn't understand why my manuscripts kept getting rejected. After a few prodding questions from her and then some pointers and advice, I went home and rewrote an entire manuscript. That manuscript was Hunting Diana, my first paperback. Come to think about it, I actually wrote the first ten pages of No One But Madison using her advice. Then I read it and realized that those ten pages blew away what I'd written so far of Hunting Diana. Sadly, that was about 2/3 of it! And so I rewrote it. It would have been easy to pick at Dawn's brain after that. I had so many questions! But I realized that her career was taking off. And so...I would bide my time until we met at LIRW meetings or the luncheon. She would greet me with that smile. And with advice. And excitement over the success of her books.

Adieu, Dawn. Your readers will miss you.
Doreen

Continuation of My May Post on Triskelionauthors.blogspot.com

Leaning over the spanking bench, I discover my readers have stolen all my toys. Although a radiant glow of heat now covers both cheeks of my butt, the loss of my toys leaves me cold and unable to enjoy Drake's attention.

Madison leans over. "What's up? One minute you're into this and the next you're not."

"They took my toys."

Madison drops to her knees. "All of them?"

All I can do is nod. The thought of returning home and having nothing to play with is too much to bear. And Jack. How can I go on without Jack?

Drake smackes his whip against his leather-clad thigh. "No one takes our creator's toys and gets away with it."

"What can you do?" I ask, wiping away a tear. "There are so many of them. Echo, Phylis, Steph, and even Kerry! For all I know, all the Romancers are in on this."

Madison taps her fingernail against her teeth. "Why do you think they took her toys?"

Drake raises an eyebrow. "They want to be punished?"

Pushing up off of the spanking bench, I smile as an idea begins to form. "So they want to be punished, do they?"

I snap my fingers. My three vamps appear. Another snap and Tanner, my cowboy, appears. Resting my hands on my hips I take in the muscle bound studs lined up before me. "Lucian, find Phylis and bring her here. Tomas, you find Echo. Tanner, I'll let you bring Steph." I watch them leave then turn to Diego. The baddest of my vamps, he's also the hottest. "Diego, Kerry won't be easy to control. Out of all my men, I think you can handle her. Bring her to me. Now!"

After they are all gone, I turn to Drake and Madison. "Now, where were we?"

NO ONE BUT MADISON IS NOW AVAILABLE!

NEWSFLASH!! NO ONE BUT MADISON is now available

BUY NOW!

To order NO ONE BUT MADISON or read an excerpt from the first chapter, click Buy Now above.

As luck would have it, NO ONE BUT MADISON is breaking out a month early. I say luck because it's release now coincides with the publication of my article, Erotica Comes Out of the Closet, in Suite Magazine and the announcement of the winner of my March Madness Contest.


To read my article, go to www.suitemag.com.

The winner of the March Madness Contest will be posted on my group, Doreen Orsini Romancers. News of my upcoming contests ( Hunk Hunt & Release Celebration) and a chance to win free downloads, keychains, nightshirts (with cover), and a Victoria's Secret gift certificate will also be posted shortly on my group. Don't miss out!! Become a member of the hottest group on the internet.

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March Madness Contest! Vampire Hunt - Lucian

My erotic paranormal romance, Hunting Diana, is the first in my Vampires of Mina's Cove series. I am designing a new page on my website just for these dark heroes. Help me out. I have four vampires and four months until Hunting Diana is released. Each month I'll put out an excerpt dealing with that month's vampire. That's where you come in. Post a picture you think should represent him on my page. It could be an unlicensed picture you found on the web or your very own hunk. Or maybe, your love when he was younger. Think he's Lucian? Then show him off!

Here it is! An excerpt that should give you an idea of what the picture for Lucian should look like. First ten to post a picture will receive Romantic Days Erotic Nights, a cookbook with recipes of romance authors (including my recipe for Succulent Shrimp).

At the end of the month, I will announce which picture will go up on a new page at my website called THE VAMPIRES OF MINA'S COVE as Lucian. The person who posted that picture will receive a box of Godiva chocolates. So, read the following excerpt then start hunting!

(The following is an unedited, unproofed excerpt from Hunting Diana and may differ from the final version. Copyright 2006 Doreen Orsini)

A sudden shift in the crowd around the bar and an elbow in her back propelled Diana forward. If a strong hand hadn't emerged and clamped around her left arm, she would have slammed into a barstool. Her gaze dropped to the long fingers wrapped around her arm. Oh, God, she knew that hand, had seen it at the lake erupting from the swirling mist that had always left her yearning for its touch.

Her phantom lover.

Phantom...or vampire?

Swallowing the scream that would have ripped through the din of voices if her lungs hadn't shut down, she forced herself to look away from her phantom's hand. Her gaze slid past the black hair sprinkling the taut muscles along his forearm, past the biceps bulging out from a short, white sleeve, past the raven-black hair that fell in soft waves to his shoulders. When she finally saw his face--the stubble coating his chiseled jaw, chin, and cheeks and surrounding full, soft lips parted in a crooked smile--whatever breath she'd managed to drag into her lungs whooshed out with a wheezing scream. She'd kissed those lips, felt them take possession of her mouth, glide along her jaw and down her neck. Oh God, every nerve in her body tingled from the memory even as her body started to tremble with fear.

Tearing her gaze from his mouth, she peered up into the same midnight-blue eyes that had taken her breath away in her dream last night. The pain she'd felt in that dream, the horrible burning in her veins returned with a vengeance. Diana drew in a sharp breath. Her legs buckled.

Darkness obliterated the face of her phantom lover.

(Don't have a picture? Then join my group, Doreen Orsini's Romancers, and enter to win a free book written by Triskelion's top romance authors!! Members automatically receive subscription to my newsletter.)