Uniting Man and Toy

   There are those who believe they must pack up their treasured toys when they finally find “The One” or even “The One for Now.” They polish and kiss their shiny bullet adieu, tenderly wrap their Jack Rabbit in tissue paper so its ears won't bend, and wipe away a tear as they carry the box of vibrating, titillating toys to the attic or trash. Happy that those lonely nights and mornings are over, they nonetheless admit that no man can gyrate, buzz, or expand and contract like their favorite toy. No man can stimulate those vaginal nerves while his woman stands on line at the grocery store. For a kiss each morning and night or a love no toy can ever replace, most women will take out those batteries and store them for use in a more practical device.
    And then there are those of us who refuse to give up the electric boyfriends who made them scream in shock when one orgasm converged into another, and another, and another. They stick out their chins and demand that men agree to share with those buzzing guys who resided there before them.
    Most men can barely keep their zippers from busting open when confronted with the prospect of bringing their partner to orgasm by toy alone or buzzing that hotspot during sex and sharing the limelight. There is no man vs. toy. There is no fear of coming up short when confronted with today's battery powered wonders.
    Of course, size is a consideration when offering up this treat to a new lover. A woman does not want to hold out in her palm a dildo that dwarfs the less-then-average penis. Or -- do I even have to mention this -- demand a man who spent most of his life listening to pencil jokes pleasure her with an ultra-fat vibrator. As for stamina...never imply you need a toy because your man can't keep his horse from charging out of the gates before the race even started.
    There are ways to entice those few men who swat away all attempts to bring the toy box out of the attic. Talk is cheap. Tell your man about your toys of old. Set the mood while you describe how you would buck and moan and scream. Explain in painful -- well, painful for him -- detail how you would slide the shiny bullet in as deep as it would go, how you'd torture yourself by adjusting your Jack Rabbit's controls, and how you'd love to watch his face as he controlled your favorite toy.
    Didn't work? Take another route. Make up a friend whose husband is a veritable toy slut. Wistfully recount wicked tall tales of nights this imaginary man spent pleasing your imaginary friend with toys you just happen to own. Describe in detail. I can not emphasize this enough. Explain how much the man enjoyed it, how having control turned him into an animal, a young stud, a raging bull. Then giggle and add how many toys this imaginary he-man broke when he lost control, threw them aside, and took solitary residence in the saddle.
    No luck? Time to turn your toys on your man. Start off slow. He is a virgin after all. Hide that buzzing bullet until he's entered that euphoric high while you're pleasuring him then slip it under your hand or alongside your lips. Remember, you are dealing with a virgin. Set those controls to the lowest vibrations. Maybe he won't notice until it's too late. Sorry, but drastic times call for drastic actions. This leads me to my next option if even this fails to entice your man into sharing you with your old pals.
    I like to call this the planned “Oh-No-You-Caught-Me.” A week before a regular night or day your man usually has to work or hang with the guys, ask him on numerous occasions if he's sure he won't be home that day. Ask again as he leaves exactly what time he'll be home. Maybe even request he call before he starts the drive home. If he asks why, merely shrug and say you were just curious. Get those jealous juices running. Chances are he'll sneak back home early. You must be ready. That favorite slinky teddy he drools over would help. I advise you use a Butterfly or other clitoral vibrator for this, preferably one with a remote he can control. This is the best toy to snag a man's interest in toy play. He still has a nice view of the finish line and he can take control.
    Notice how often I used the word control in this article? There is a reason for that. Men love holding the reins. This is one of the major obstacles facing women who want to share their toys with their men. The man fears that he will only be a spectator as some gadget controls his woman. Ok, some men like sitting back and watching. Some, only occasionally. But there are those who have to be in control and they are the ones most likely to turn you and your toys down. So, give them the remote and let them decide how strong those vibrations are and how many times you'll come. Life could be worse. You could come home one day and find your man and toys have moved on without you.