Friday, August 03, 2012
Saturday, July 07, 2012
Uniting Man and Toy
And then there are those of us who refuse to give up the electric boyfriends who made them scream in shock when one orgasm converged into another, and another, and another. They stick out their chins and demand that men agree to share with those buzzing guys who resided there before them.
Most men can barely keep their zippers from busting open when confronted with the prospect of bringing their partner to orgasm by toy alone or buzzing that hotspot during sex and sharing the limelight. There is no man vs. toy. There is no fear of coming up short when confronted with today's battery powered wonders.
Of course, size is a consideration when offering up this treat to a new lover. A woman does not want to hold out in her palm a dildo that dwarfs the less-then-average penis. Or -- do I even have to mention this -- demand a man who spent most of his life listening to pencil jokes pleasure her with an ultra-fat vibrator. As for stamina...never imply you need a toy because your man can't keep his horse from charging out of the gates before the race even started.
There are ways to entice those few men who swat away all attempts to bring the toy box out of the attic. Talk is cheap. Tell your man about your toys of old. Set the mood while you describe how you would buck and moan and scream. Explain in painful -- well, painful for him -- detail how you would slide the shiny bullet in as deep as it would go, how you'd torture yourself by adjusting your Jack Rabbit's controls, and how you'd love to watch his face as he controlled your favorite toy.
Didn't work? Take another route. Make up a friend whose husband is a veritable toy slut. Wistfully recount wicked tall tales of nights this imaginary man spent pleasing your imaginary friend with toys you just happen to own. Describe in detail. I can not emphasize this enough. Explain how much the man enjoyed it, how having control turned him into an animal, a young stud, a raging bull. Then giggle and add how many toys this imaginary he-man broke when he lost control, threw them aside, and took solitary residence in the saddle.
No luck? Time to turn your toys on your man. Start off slow. He is a virgin after all. Hide that buzzing bullet until he's entered that euphoric high while you're pleasuring him then slip it under your hand or alongside your lips. Remember, you are dealing with a virgin. Set those controls to the lowest vibrations. Maybe he won't notice until it's too late. Sorry, but drastic times call for drastic actions. This leads me to my next option if even this fails to entice your man into sharing you with your old pals.
I like to call this the planned “Oh-No-You-Caught-Me.” A week before a regular night or day your man usually has to work or hang with the guys, ask him on numerous occasions if he's sure he won't be home that day. Ask again as he leaves exactly what time he'll be home. Maybe even request he call before he starts the drive home. If he asks why, merely shrug and say you were just curious. Get those jealous juices running. Chances are he'll sneak back home early. You must be ready. That favorite slinky teddy he drools over would help. I advise you use a Butterfly or other clitoral vibrator for this, preferably one with a remote he can control. This is the best toy to snag a man's interest in toy play. He still has a nice view of the finish line and he can take control.
Notice how often I used the word control in this article? There is a reason for that. Men love holding the reins. This is one of the major obstacles facing women who want to share their toys with their men. The man fears that he will only be a spectator as some gadget controls his woman. Ok, some men like sitting back and watching. Some, only occasionally. But there are those who have to be in control and they are the ones most likely to turn you and your toys down. So, give them the remote and let them decide how strong those vibrations are and how many times you'll come. Life could be worse. You could come home one day and find your man and toys have moved on without you.
Wednesday, July 04, 2012
FIFTY SHADES OF BDSM
FIFTY SHADES OF BDSM
- Relationships were built BEFORE a man ever shoved a contract under a potential submissive's nose. A relationship built on trust, love or the beginnings of love, and similar likes and dislikes in regard to BDSM.
- I don't recall ever seeing someone as young as twenty-two in a club and if one should walk in, it is to get a taste of the scene.
- Meetings include workshops on various techniques used to instill pain safely, weapons of pleasure, and control.
- Abuse is taken very seriously, more so than outside the life. I constantly saw brochures on abuse, how to know if you are in an abusive relationship, and what to do, where to go, and how to end one if you believe your's is one.
- Sure, those in the life fall for someone new to it and lead them into it, but they don't make that person decide on a first date.
- There are couples who have relationships where one member completely controls every aspect of a person's life. The submissive in that relationship is called a slave. Not sure a never-been-kissed virgin on a first date would miss the slave aspect.
- Not everyone into BDSM has emotional issues or pasts filled with abuse. Some just discover that the sting of a flogger heightens their senses or their day-to-day lives are so full of responsibilities and power that they want to give that up when they get home and interact with their partner...and vice-a-versa.
- Giving up control in a sexual relationships frees the mind of morals and fears.
- The submissive has the final say. Ergo the safeword. Here is where many grow confused about who is truly in control.
- Domninants get pleasure from their position because, yes, they like being the one in control, but they are fully aware that the submissive has offered this gift, can take it back if they abuse it, and is trusting them to never cross a line the submissive has drawn.
- Submissives get pleasure from their position because, yes, they like feeling helpless and out of control, but they are fully aware that the dominant will give them the pleasure/pain they enjoy and will never cross the line they have drawn.
- After one night at Paddles in NYC, I learned that lifestylers have full, unforgettable personalities. I found every one of the people I spoke with interesting and unique whether they held a dominant or submissive position.
- People in the lifestyle are naturally drawn to seek out those in the lifestyle.
- A masochist is someone who gets pleasure from pain. (Note the word pleasure.)
- A sadist is someone who enjoys giving pleasure through pain. (Note the word pleasure.)
- S/M means sadomasochism, giving and receiving pain for pleasure. If there is no pleasure on both sides, then it is not S/M, it is abuse.
- S/M is always consensual, if not, it is abuse.
- S/M is fun and sexually gratifying, if not, it is abuse.
- S/M is loving.
- S/M must be enjoyed by both partners.
- S/M is dependent upon respect for each partners limits, both the dominant's and the submissive's.
- S/M revolves around trust.
- B&D means bondage and discipline.
- B&D is always consensual, if not, it is abuse.
- B&D is fun and sexually gratifying, if not, it is abuse.
- B&D is loving.
- B&D must be enjoyed by both partners.
- B&D is dependent upon respect for each partners limits, both the dominant's and the submissive's.
- D&S means dominance and submission.
- D&S is always consensual, if not, it is abuse.
- D&S is fun and sexually gratifying, if not, it is abuse.
- D&S is loving.
- D&S must be enjoyed by both partners.
- D&S is dependent upon respect for each partners limits, both the dominant's and the submissive's.
- Some are into D&S but not S/M or B&D.
- Some are into B&D but not S/M or D&S.
- Some are into S/M but not D&S or B&D.
- BDSM covers it all. S/M, B&D, D&S, fetishes, etc.
- Top means the dominant or person with the power.
- Bottom means the submissive or person giving up power.
- Switch means someone who can be either submissive or dominant.
- Scene is the time in which two or more people are involved in a S/M physical activity.
- Edgeplay means bringing a scene or relationship into the risky realms of BDSM. This is dangerous and should only be considered when both are experienced in BDSM.
- Aftercare is a time after a scene. It not only involves cleaning and soothing. It is a time of tenderness and loving. This is when a dominant will sometimes simply hold a submissive until he/she is again grounded, speaking words of love or ensuring that every aspect of the scene was agreeable to each.
- Safeword is a word a participant uses to end a scene that has crossed the line between pleasure/pain and pure pain.
- A safeword should not be "no", "no more", "stop". It should be a word that would not otherwise come up during a scene. Let's face it, sometimes when we are already in the throes of pleasure, no means yes in this lifestyle.
- If a person is ever ridiculed, humiliated, or bullied when using the safeword, that person is not in a safe relationship no matter how quickly that word passes his/her lips.
- SSF means Safe, Sane, and Consensual. This is the foundation of a BDSM relationship. Without this foundation, it is abuse.
- Safe: Both participants are knowledgeable about techniques, tools of pleasure/pain, safety, and the risks involved.
- Sane: Neither participant suffers from mental illness or mental health issues. Both participants are fully aware of that line dividing fantasy from reality.
- Consensual: Limits are understood and agreed upon before moving into a relationship OR scene. Both participants have fully agreed to participate. Sometimes this involves a contract but in the beginning, when a couple enters into a first scene together, it is verbally discussed.
- And, although some fictional accounts include alcohol prior to a scene, this is taboo in the lifestyle. Both participant, dominant and submissive, should have nothing fogging their judgement, something crucial to ensure that line between pleasurable pain and pure pain is never crossed. Also, drinking prior to a scene can be harmful to the submissive's health and life. Remember, the submissive holds the safeword. Note "safe". Clubs serve juice.
- Ok, so more than fifty. But I could go on and on.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Dawn - Adieu
Monday, June 12, 2006
Continuation of My May Post on Triskelionauthors.blogspot.com
Leaning over the spanking bench, I discover my readers have stolen all my toys. Although a radiant glow of heat now covers both cheeks of my butt, the loss of my toys leaves me cold and unable to enjoy Drake's attention.
Madison leans over. "What's up? One minute you're into this and the next you're not."
"They took my toys."
Madison drops to her knees. "All of them?"
All I can do is nod. The thought of returning home and having nothing to play with is too much to bear. And Jack. How can I go on without Jack?
Drake smackes his whip against his leather-clad thigh. "No one takes our creator's toys and gets away with it."
"What can you do?" I ask, wiping away a tear. "There are so many of them. Echo, Phylis, Steph, and even Kerry! For all I know, all the Romancers are in on this."
Madison taps her fingernail against her teeth. "Why do you think they took her toys?"
Drake raises an eyebrow. "They want to be punished?"
Pushing up off of the spanking bench, I smile as an idea begins to form. "So they want to be punished, do they?"
I snap my fingers. My three vamps appear. Another snap and Tanner, my cowboy, appears. Resting my hands on my hips I take in the muscle bound studs lined up before me. "Lucian, find Phylis and bring her here. Tomas, you find Echo. Tanner, I'll let you bring Steph." I watch them leave then turn to Diego. The baddest of my vamps, he's also the hottest. "Diego, Kerry won't be easy to control. Out of all my men, I think you can handle her. Bring her to me. Now!"
After they are all gone, I turn to Drake and Madison. "Now, where were we?"
Saturday, April 01, 2006
NO ONE BUT MADISON IS NOW AVAILABLE!
To order NO ONE BUT MADISON or read an excerpt from the first chapter, click Buy Now above.
As luck would have it, NO ONE BUT MADISON is breaking out a month early. I say luck because it's release now coincides with the publication of my article, Erotica Comes Out of the Closet, in Suite Magazine and the announcement of the winner of my March Madness Contest.
To read my article, go to www.suitemag.com.
The winner of the March Madness Contest will be posted on my group, Doreen Orsini Romancers. News of my upcoming contests ( Hunk Hunt & Release Celebration) and a chance to win free downloads, keychains, nightshirts (with cover), and a Victoria's Secret gift certificate will also be posted shortly on my group. Don't miss out!! Become a member of the hottest group on the internet.
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Tuesday, February 28, 2006
March Madness Contest! Vampire Hunt - Lucian
My erotic paranormal romance, Hunting Diana, is the first in my Vampires of Mina's Cove series. I am designing a new page on my website just for these dark heroes. Help me out. I have four vampires and four months until Hunting Diana is released. Each month I'll put out an excerpt dealing with that month's vampire. That's where you come in. Post a picture you think should represent him on my page. It could be an unlicensed picture you found on the web or your very own hunk. Or maybe, your love when he was younger. Think he's Lucian? Then show him off!
Here it is! An excerpt that should give you an idea of what the picture for Lucian should look like. First ten to post a picture will receive Romantic Days Erotic Nights, a cookbook with recipes of romance authors (including my recipe for Succulent Shrimp).
At the end of the month, I will announce which picture will go up on a new page at my website called THE VAMPIRES OF MINA'S COVE as Lucian. The person who posted that picture will receive a box of Godiva chocolates. So, read the following excerpt then start hunting!
(The following is an unedited, unproofed excerpt from Hunting Diana and may differ from the final version. Copyright 2006 Doreen Orsini)
A sudden shift in the crowd around the bar and an elbow in her back propelled Diana forward. If a strong hand hadn't emerged and clamped around her left arm, she would have slammed into a barstool. Her gaze dropped to the long fingers wrapped around her arm. Oh, God, she knew that hand, had seen it at the lake erupting from the swirling mist that had always left her yearning for its touch.
Her phantom lover.
Swallowing the scream that would have ripped through the din of voices if her lungs hadn't shut down, she forced herself to look away from her phantom's hand. Her gaze slid past the black hair sprinkling the taut muscles along his forearm, past the biceps bulging out from a short, white sleeve, past the raven-black hair that fell in soft waves to his shoulders. When she finally saw his face--the stubble coating his chiseled jaw, chin, and cheeks and surrounding full, soft lips parted in a crooked smile--whatever breath she'd managed to drag into her lungs whooshed out with a wheezing scream. She'd kissed those lips, felt them take possession of her mouth, glide along her jaw and down her neck. Oh God, every nerve in her body tingled from the memory even as her body started to tremble with fear.
Tearing her gaze from his mouth, she peered up into the same midnight-blue eyes that had taken her breath away in her dream last night. The pain she'd felt in that dream, the horrible burning in her veins returned with a vengeance. Diana drew in a sharp breath. Her legs buckled.
Darkness obliterated the face of her phantom lover.
(Don't have a picture? Then join my group, Doreen Orsini's Romancers, and enter to win a free book written by Triskelion's top romance authors!! Members automatically receive subscription to my newsletter.)